Conversations with my Daughter: an Angel among us

I didn’t expect to have a daughter as a first child. Like most men, I was expecting a baby boy. The news came as a surprise at first but I quickly warmed up to the fact that we were expecting a baby girl.  We didn’t see it then but God had a plan for us right from the beginning. Now, six years later, it is very clear to us what is God’s reason to have Karymar in our lives. She is our Angel; our guardian angel on earth, who is actively watching for us. It became even more clear, as if we needed another reminder, when Ian Karlo was born. Karymar became his guardian angel too. She is more than that though. She is Ian Karlo’s sentinel, nurse and teacher. She also has been our teacher, showing us what love really is in our relationship.

We have seen our daughter grow from the inside out. Karymar is so tuned in on her surroundings and don’t miss a thing. She catches every word we say, every move we make. That was our first lesson: be careful on what we do or say around our children. She knows when we are sad or worried and knows how to soothe our souls. She joins in the celebration when we are happy; I love to see those eyes sparkle bright when she smiles. I like when she rubs by shoulders after I carry her on my shoulders at the park. I love her sayings to everything we talk about. She finds amusing when I talk to her about anything and she remembers old conversations. The funny thing is that she always brings up things like ” but you said this” when we are doing the opposite or reminds me when I am distracted on the phone or forgot to put my seat belt on. Her comments sometimes are the kind that make you stop in your tracks and just laugh about it or give it a lot of thought.  I find it very special when I am on long trips and she calls me to talk to her and sing a lullaby before bedtime. Often times we chat online and I laugh hard when she ask me ” Are we going to Skype or Tango Papi?”

Karymar is in first grade now and loves school. Always  has a story to tell from school, her classmates and the school bus ride. The tooth fairy came twice this year. She was very brave pulling her tooth out when it was ready to come out. She has a gift of art, making beautiful drawings and paintings. She read and writes very good too. I keep all her drawings and writings on a binder and ask her to write the date on it for posterity. Everywhere she goes, she carries her bag with toys, her notebooks and pencil and crayons. Always busy creating things. She loves to play instruments; I have my guitars, harmonicas and hand drums at the ready when we just want to have fun playing music. I bought her first guitar and she likes to play the piano and the drums.  Kary is also a great swimmer. Recently,  we had her taking synchronize swimming lessons. She is a fish in the water, a natural.  She is learning to ride her bicycle; I’ve already taken the training wheels off. Soon she will take off and never look back. One of the mot cherished moments is when Karymar ask me to take her on ride on my motorcycle. She is not old enough to take it out on the road but I take her on a short ride around the neighborhood. She brightens up when she puts her helmet and prepares for her ride with papi. She is a trill seeker and loves to go to the theme parks. Once I took Kary to Universal Studios Island of Adventure theme park.   She was having so much fun, running and jumping. She loves Jurassic Park ride to the point of calling out the suspense moments. She almost spoiled the surprise factor to the other riders. She knew when she was going to get wet and pull her hoodie up. What I liked the most is how she tells me to hold her tightly when the big T-REX shows up just before the drop. We went to rides two and three times in a row. In the Harry Potter coaster she wants to go with her arms up. She loves to ride roller coasters. I didn’t say no to anything she asked for. She was behaving very well and bringing her running stroller was an outstanding plus. We spent about 4 hours of non-stop fun. Great memories.

I didn’t think children can be so tuned in on things, like the simple things in life. We, as grown ups, are tuned out or way off the mark when it comes to these things. We see life disguised as problems, work and paying the bills. Children however, their care free innocence allows them to see life as it really is.  Why can’t we be more like them? What is this thing about being a grown up? Well, Karymar has shown us the way to be happy and enjoy life now, as it happens.We just got to do this simple thing, that is to take care of them in return. They are our highest priority and everything else comes second. The world is not going to end if we don’t do X,Y and Z right away. Children don’t see “time” like we do. In fact, they don’t know what time is, or how much time is to do this or when we will do X, Y and Z. What they do know is how to live in the moment, in the NOW and that is a great lesson to learn.

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Reflecting on 2011

Dear friends,

It has been a long time since my last update.  There is a full range of events happening at this moment, from starting new things, a lot of work in progress on the personal side and eliminating what doesn’t work in my life. This year flew by really and I mean really quick. Where did the time go? A lot of things happened this year both good and not so good. The emotional roller coaster is coming to a full stop at the end of 2011. I can summarize this year as the year of awareness, a year of acceptance and letting go. Many of the things I’ve worried about never materialized, they just didn’t happen or was not the end of the world after all. The little random and spontaneous occurrences were the most significant events of the year after all was said and done. There is a reason for everything, not a coincidence whatsoever. If it didn’t happen, it was not meant to be or happen anyways. Many things did happen, although no exactly as I would have wanted to.

Lesson learned: don’t sweat the small stuff, even if it is the 800 pound gorilla in the room. All will be sort out in due course and it is not my job to be concerned about when, how, why and/or if it will happen. My identity this year was being resilient. Storms did come and caused chaos but the water receded and life went on. It was up to me to stay down or get back up in the saddle, moving forward.

The constant reminder of this year was and IS to live in the NOW, which is what I have in front of me. The rest did unfold according to the master plan of being and doing….God took care of the rest.
Recently, I took a week-long road trip and had the opportunity to spend time alone. Real solitude to clear my mind, reflecting on this year’s events and preparing for the year 2012….”The comeback year”. I took time to be still, to quiet my mental monkeys and become aware with my surroundings. Everything I’d listen to, what I researched online and the documentaries I watched resonates with my body’s internal energy. I took a step deeper and looked into my Chakras ( my body’s energy channels)  to identify and understand  what could be blocking  or preventing me from creating the life I want.

I was able to identify deficiencies in my lower Chakras that could be interfering with creating the life that I truly want. All the symptoms pointed to my base, sacral and solar plexus Chakras.  It was a relief to finally come to this discovery. I’ve cleared my life clutter and set a priority to strengthen the energy of my chakras for 2012. But I am not waiting for the turn of the year; I am working on it right now. Why wait?

I am also de-multitasking my book project and going for the audio-book format in English and Spanish. Looking for a good microphone and recording software.

That is all for now, though there is much more to be, do, and have. I just don’t want to get caught up in the rush of things and prefer take one day, one moment at the time.

I thank you for listening and look forward to read or hear about your accomplishments and resolutions for the New Year. I wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2012.

Review of Conversations with God

This is my review of Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch. It is the third book of the trilogy.  In this audio book, the author talks with God, which is presented in both male and female voices to avoid any gender orientation that identifies God as one gender only. He asks questions to God, questions that I or any other person seeking answers will ask. It develops in a sort of dialogue between God and the author in a casual tone. Very compelling stuff. God explains the concepts of the Universe and the concept of time. The conversations goes into deep subjects like evolution, suicide, death, abortion as well as relationships and other social and spiritual concepts. Heavy stuff to digest here: God explains that it was man who created all that we believe in or were taught by in the Bible and throughout history. This knowledge has been passed down to generations as “law” and thus generally accepted in our cultural society for centuries. God clarifies that He does not punish people. All that HE does is to LOVE. I believe this is true because I cannot believe that my God punishes people. Never believed in it and never will.  In truth is very complicated material to easily understand in just one listening. Perhaps we will never understand it because of our limited capacity to comprehend things that we do not see. For example, the battle of Good Vs. Evil. This concept was created by man to instill FEAR and guilt to humanity.  Fear as we know it stands for False Experiences Appearing Real. Man created many concepts we, as a society, take as being truth to create fear, control and manipulate others particularly the weak. Mankind has gone to war because of fear; people have died because of fear. Another example is the devil. There is no devil as it was something man also created to create fear. It gets heavily into religion here and get this EVIL spells LIVE backwards. Very clever stuff indeed. The mind starts to swirl trying to understand this as if it was something I heard for the first time. The choice is mine to believe whether is true or not obviously. I could easily dismiss it, holding on to my beliefs taught by my parents and teachers but I kept an open mind.  It goes on and on deep into esoteric subjects.  As I listened to the dialogue between God and the author, I too started to believe and understand. I believed that the purpose of my human experience in this universe is “ to decide and declare, to create and express, to experience and to fulfill who I really am”. I believe that my basic instinct is fairness, oneness and love not survival instinct as man had declared since the beginning of “time”.  The dialogue went into re-incarnation saying that God didn’t make us to live only one life in this vast Universe. So, death is just a transition to a better life and we can re-incarnate in whatever we want to. This I believed because for every person that dies a baby is born. Then the dialogue turns into even more complex subjects such like the Divine Dichotomy. I found this to be contradictory to what I believe and challenge the logic as we know it but it is possible. Basically a dichotomy is a situation in which two apparently contradictory experiences; evidences or truths seem to be existing harmoniously at the same time in the same space. Mind boggling to say the least.

To summarize 8 hours of listening, these are my key points that I will live by and pass on to my kind:

  1. I express not equality among others but uniqueness among all living things.
  2. I am a steward of good on earth to share with others not an owner of things to keep.
  3. “If you want something in your life, give it away”. Life is not for getting, life is for giving.
  4. Act as if I am the other person I wanted to be, as if I have everything I want. I am the only one responsible for not attracting that of what I want which I already have. There is enough for everybody and I don’t have to do any more than being what I am right now.
  5. All is ONE. We are all one soul in this entire Universe with God as one and one with God.
  6.  The way to get there is to BE there.
  7. Problems are processes, experiences created by us one way or another. Everything has a purpose, a reason. Nothing is random or coincidence in life. We have one way or another “caused” or created this experience and at the end everything will turn out the way God intended to whether we understand it or not. It is meant to happen so let it happen.

This was a review of book three of Conversations with God. I will review it again to catch up on points that I may have missed the first time and can’t wait to listen to book one and two. I have many questions that need answers.