If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again
by Diane Loomans

If I had my child to raise all over again,
I’d do less correcting, and more connecting,
I’d take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.
I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I’d run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I’d do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more,
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I’d teach less about the love of power and more about the power of love.

http://www.fosteringperspectives.org/fp_vol4no2/if_i_had_my_child.htm

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Promise Yourself

Inspiration and motivation can come when you least expect it. I sat in my office this morning going over the publishing details of my first book “YOU Improved”. The book is on the final stage of cover design and on time for its release by the end of this year. I printed a copy of the cover layout and post it on the bulletin board in front of my desk. This board serves me as a reminder of change and improvements in my life, thoughts and random notes that I can see daily. One of them is a motivational poem by Christian D. Larson, also known as The Optimist Creed. I like it because it’s short and very powerful especially when is read just when you need it and for me it was this morning.

Promise Yourself

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can
disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to
every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel like there is
something in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your
optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best,
and expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others
as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on the
greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful countenance at all times and give
every living person you meet a smile.

To give so much time to the improvement of yourself
that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, and too
strong for fear, and too happy to permit the
presence of trouble.

It got me moving this morning, affirming that I will, I am and I have been doing what I need to do, to be where I want to be and to have what I want in my life. Print this motivational poem, post it somewhere you can read it daily and promise yourself that you can do it and that you will do it.


Locks of Love

Over the past few months we have been teaching our daughter Karymar how to appreciate the things she unknowingly take for granted. We do not expect our five-year old daughter to comprehend life’s little details, but we think it is best if we start early to teach her about gratitude than to wait for her little brain to analyze the concept as she gets older. In one of many casual conversations, the subject of donating came to surface. Both me and my wife have talked with Karymar about the importance of giving back to others, especially those who don’t have anything. One day Karymar and her mother started talking about Kary’s interest of donating her hair to other children that have no hair. She may have seen a picture of a child with no hair and that may have triggered her interest. We found an organization called “Locks of Love” who provides hairpieces to financially disadvantaged children suffering from long term medical hair loss from any diagnosis. Last Saturday I took Karymar to the hair salon to make the commitment. We have asked her several times whether she was sure to have her long hair cut for this cause and in all occasion she replied a resounding “Yes”. We wanted to be sure that she knew why she was doing this, that it was not just another haircut and she knew it very well. She never stopped smiling while she was getting her hair on a ponytail but gasped in amazement when the ponytail was cut. I scaled yet another level of proudness; my chest was heaving with pride, big smile from ear to ear. The stylist was so impressed with Karymar’s deed and didn’t charge us anything for the haircut. We walked outside, holding hands, and I asked her “do you know what we are going to do with your lock of hair Kary?” She said “yes Papi, I am donating it so other children can have hair”. I am proud of you honey, I love you.

Taking Initiative

I was conducting a compliance inspection one hot afternoon to a multi-family residential complex in South Florida. These inspections are to assess the current condition of the property, “as-is”, to ensure that the residents of the property live in a place that is decent, sanitary and in good repair. No on the spot repairs are allowed; as I like to call it “it is what it is” and management was aware of this. I was accompanied by the property manager and maintenance people to gain access to the site perimeter, building areas and a sample of the units. Despite knowing the protocol of these inspections, there was one young maintenance guy who was always eager to fix whatever problem I called out. No matter how insignificant the problem was, the young man jumped on the spot to fix it even though it was explained to him that his efforts did not matter, that the deficiency was cited anyway. In every time he said that didn’t matter for him, that it was one less thing he has to do later. It made sense to me what he said; taking the initiative to get the job done now than later and we continued the inspection with the young fellow fixing things behind us. We finished the inspection late afternoon and we were heading back to the office. This property outlines a conservation area where thick vegetation and a pond covered a vast area that we had to walk across to get to the office. Everybody was wrapped in conversation, asking questions about the inspection and didn’t pay attention to the grounds we were walking by. Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I spotted something on the ground. I immediately halted the group and we spotted what it looked like a snake on the ground. As we got closer the snake was identified as a water moccasin, one of Florida’s most venomous snakes. The snake was feet from us, slithering away but close to buildings and people. We froze there for a minute and before anyone could say something out came the relentless young man with a shovel and disregarding his own safety whack the snake killing it after several hits. To everyone’s amazement, this young man took the initiative before anyone and killed a snake that could have gone closer to a residential building and threaten the safety of its residents, especially children. I was impressed by this young man, going beyond self and his duties. It’s a shame I never got his name but I know the property manager commended his effort for a job well done. I am sure I will see him around next time I visit this property in the near future.

Maintaining Relationship Bridges

My job as an inspector gives me the insight of building structures and how the elements affect its integrity and function. When I look at a building foundation, I can see if it has been affected by erosion, moisture, whether it has cracks or deterioration that can have an impact on the structure, creating potential adverse effects to the integrity of the building. Foundations support the weight of the building or structure and it is important that it is properly constructed and maintained to prevent premature failure and a potential collapse of the building or structure. Bridges and building foundations run deep into the ground; the higher the building or bridge the deeper that foundation has to be. Poor construction or lack of maintenance can result in premature structural failure, exposing the footings, cracks and gaps that over time contribute to the overall deterioration of the structure. A bridge whose footing is unstable due to an undermined foundation will surely fail over time, giving in to the weight of the top of the structure and eventually collapsing. No matter how fancy the bridge or building looks on the outside, if its foundation is not well grounded, it will be at the mercy of time and the elements to do their work.

Relationships are much like bridges and structures. A relationship between two people who care for each other, they communicate effectively and work together towards a common goal are like a strong foundation that runs deep into the ground. They are more adapting to withstand the elements and remain stable for years to come. However, relationships that are not well maintained, neglected with little or no effort from both sides, are like a weak foundation, unable to withstand the elements and threatening to collapse. Lack of communication, poor effort, lack of gratitude and dedication undermines the relationship foundation and surely over time will crumble to the ground. The bridge whose side is more unstable will be the first to collapse. In a relationship, both sides have to maintain the relationship to good standing, otherwise, the deferred side will deteriorate and that side of the bridge will collapse first. The other side, despite of been properly maintain, cannot hold the weight of the entire structure and though it remains standing it is rendered impassable because it missing the other half of the bridge. Relationship cannot be one sided. Both sides have to bear the weight of the relationship equally or balanced in a manner that is beneficial to both ends. Maintaining solid relationships will ensure that the friendship bridges will remain up and open and never burn or destroyed.

Milestone achieved!

A decade ago I started to read and listen to personal development material and taking notes of anything important on the subject. I always have been interested in personal growth and soon started to apply what I learned in my life. I collected hundreds of post it notes, pieces of paper and just about anything that I could write on with information bits of the material I just read or listen. Hundreds of notes unorganized in my car and home and filed away. A friend of mine suggested to put those notes on an MS Word document and so I did. Months later I took the task to organize what I had and try to make sense of it. That lead to the idea of sharing my lessons and experiences of my life with others thus GMAN 2.0 blog was born. With the help of people I love and respect,an idea to write a book about something I am passionate about started to take shape. I never thought I would write let alone finish a book.

It has been work in progress, part of my personal growth over the past 10 years, but it became a reality during this current year, a year of struggle. The result of hard work, dedication, asking the right question and listening with intention is a finished book about personal growth, about change and it is now in the process of being published, self -publish that is. My life has changed so much in the past decade and continues to improve. I am so grateful for everything that God has put in my path. There is a reason for everything in life, do what is possible and leave it to God for the impossible.

How to write a book

“a life changing experience”

How I did it:

  1. Write daily notes about everything you like, aspire or care about. Doesn’t matter if it makes any sense now.
  2. Put those notes on a MS Word document
  3. Organize your thought. Ask for help of friend or family. Don’t be too critical of yourself or others. Let it flow.
  4. Get help from the right people. Invest in what is worth for you. Never sacrifice quality over cheap.
  5. be grateful every day of your progress and let it show.
  6. Talk the talk and walk the walk. Your book is a reflection of you and how others will perceive you. Be real!

Lessons & tips: You never know what’s ahead until you get there.
Don’t let anyone tell you  why it can’t be done or talk you out of your goal.
Stay on the job until finish, but don’t stress too much about it. Live life 🙂

Resources: Go to http://www.selfpublishing.com. Download the publishing basics guide and read it.
Read any book or audio-books about self help, personal growth, motivation and inspiration…or whatever you’re into.
Keep a personal daily log for for accountability. You will be surprised how much this will help you.

It took me 10 years.

It made me feel accomplished

On Advice and Opinions

Sometimes when there is a big decision to make or when we are not so sure which way to go in life, we feel the need to ask for other people’s opinions and advice to help us make the decision or just to make us feel alright. Oftentimes these opinions come from people who are important in our lives, those who we love and respect. When the opinion or advice comes from a person older than us, a respected individual or someone who has gone through the same situation we currently encounter, we are more inclined to call that opinion or advice true and absolute. We know that it comes from a source that want us to be good, do well and obviously means no harm. As a result we take on that opinion to make our decisions because we are somehow convinced that we will go through the same circumstances experienced by the one giving his or her opinion. However in the midst of that opinion lies just that, a person’s opinion based on their own reality and past experiences. Though the circumstances may look similar, the experiences are unique to every individual and does not indicate in any way that we will go through the same experience and outcome. The circumstances also are unique in every situation and seldom happens exactly the way has been advised. We should take caution when asking for an opinion and receive that opinion or advice with an open mind to be used as a baseline but not as the end result of our actions. At the end it is our own decisions that will have an impact on the results of our own actions, not what other people tell us what we should do. Be very careful when an opinion or advice starts with “let me tell you why this will not work” or similar. This is clearly a one sided opinion based on the unique circumstances that person experienced and he or she will, on good nature, tell you what you should and should not do to avoid going through what they went through. Do listen to their advice in silence, thank them for their opinion and do not argue but ask questions that will help you make a better decision based on your own situations. At the end you are the owner of your actions.

Just for today

It’s been several weeks since I started to practice not to pass judgment on others. It is easier to be said than done; one of the most difficult things I am doing because everywhere I go, there is an excuse to pass judgment on others. From the moment I wake up, get on my car, drive through town and everything else, I see reasons to critique or merely say or even ponder my opinion about this and that. However, I realize that passing judgment is filtering my prejudices and values on others and decided not too long ago to take on the challenge and abstain from passing judgment. I recently listened to Change Your Thoughts Change Your Life: Living the Wisdom of the Tao by Dr. Wayne Dyer. In this audiobook he narrates Lao-tzu’s 81 verses of the Tao Te Ching. I highly recommend Dr. Wayne Dyer’s work and suggest taking one verse of the Tao te Ching a day and practicing it. I am particular captivated by verse 55 of the Tao Te Ching: Living by letting go. In summary it suggests that “I am open to allowing what needs to happen and I trust God for guidance”. That is how I interpret this verse and how I intend to practice. Again, it is easier to say than done. One way that is helping me to carry out this is a personal say or affirmation I tell to myself every time I have the thought of passing judgment which is every time. I learn this from listening to Brian Tracy’s “Eat that Frog” audiobook and it says: “Just for today I _______________”. I use this to say “just for today I will not pass judgment on others”. Being aware when the excuse to pass judgment occurs allows for the opportunity to catch myself in the act and carry out immediately with my new mantra. That way I get closer and aligned with the way of the Tao, Carlos’s Tao.

Peace of Mind

I sat in the waiting room of a Doctor’s office early morning while waiting for my wife, who was having a routine examination, to come out. I was still sleepy but the caffeine effects of the cup I had earlier was making its wonders. Not being able to stay put for a long time I started to scan the office looking for something interesting to do. In the background, I could hear the news channel talking about everyone’s hot topic of the moment, mid- term elections. I had no interest in that and started to walk around the room looking at the various picture frames on the wall. I was starting to feel anxious because my wife was taking too long to come out. Maybe she was not done with her procedure; maybe the doctor hasn’t seen her yet. The office looked crowded; I was not the only one waiting and I thought there was only one doctor. One doctor performing procedures and examinations back to back, keeping the demand of patients waiting on their turn to see him. I thought about the responsibility and pressure the doctor must be feeling that morning. After looking at many paintings and picture frames, one above all really caught my attention. It illustrated a surgeon at a hospital operating room performing surgery surrounded by two other doctors or nurses. Right next to the surgeon was Jesus Christ. The caption read: Chief of the medical staff. Jesus was alongside the surgeon with one hand on his shoulder in support and encouragement to be brave and move on with the task in front of him, the other hand just next to the surgeon’s hands keeping them steady, guiding him to do the job right. I felt a warm feeling inside me and immediately felt at ease with peace of mind knowing that the good doctor is not alone in there, Jesus Christ is by his side and all is well.