Brain Entrainment is powerful and effective. It must be practiced daily and tuned to your ” specifications “. It certainly has worked for me in changing negative thinking and bad habits. It is a work in progress. ….
03 Mar 2015 Leave a comment
02 Mar 2015 Leave a comment
“If a rejection, failure or bad mood is not getting better, it means that you’ve sustained a psychological wound and you need to treat it.”
7 WAYS TO PRACTICE EMOTIONAL FIRST AID
Psychologist Guy Winch lays out seven useful ways to reboot your emotional health … starting right now.
You put a bandage on a cut or take antibiotics to treat an infection, right? No questions asked. In fact, questions would be asked if you didn’t apply first aid when necessary. So why isn’t the same true of our mental health? We are expected to just “get over” psychological wounds — when as anyone who’s ever ruminated over rejection or agonized over a failure knows only too well, emotional injuries can be just as crippling as physical ones. We need to learn how to practice emotional first aid. Here are 7 ways to do so:
1. Pay attention to emotional pain — recognize it when it happens and work to treat it before it feels all-encompassing.
The body evolved the sensation of physical pain to alert us that something is wrong and we need to address it. The same is true for emotional pain. If a rejection, failure or bad mood is not getting better, it means you’ve sustained a psychological wound and you need to treat it. For example, loneliness can be devastatingly damaging to your psychological and physical health, so when you or your friend or loved one is feeling socially or emotionally isolated, you need to take action.
2. Redirect your gut reaction when you fail.
The nature of psychological wounds makes it easy for one to lead to another. Failure can often drive you to focus on what you can’t do instead of focusing on what you can. That can then make you less likely to perform at your best, which will make you even more focused on your shortcomings, and on the cycle goes. To stop this sort of emotional spiral, learn to ignore the post-failure “gut” reaction of feeling helpless and demoralized, and make a list of factors that you can control were you to try again. For instance, think about preparation and planning, and how you might improve each of them. This kind of exercise will reduce feelings of helplessness and improve your chances of future success.
3. Monitor and protect your self-esteem.
When you feel like putting yourself down, take a moment to be compassionate to yourself.
Self-esteem is like an emotional immune system that buffers you from emotional pain and strengthens your emotional resilience. As such, it is very important to monitor it and avoid putting yourself down, particularly when you are already hurting. One way to “heal” damaged self-esteem is to practice self-compassion. When you’re feeling critical of yourself, do the following exercise: imagine a dear friend is feeling bad about him or herself for similar reasons and write an email expressing compassion and support. Then read the email. Those are the messages you should be giving yourself.
4. When negative thoughts are taking over, disrupt them with positive distraction.
When you replay distressing events in your mind without seeking new insight or trying to solve a problem, you’re just brooding, and that, especially when it becomes habitual, can lead to deeper psychological pain. The best way to disrupt unhealthy rumination is to distract yourself by engaging in a task that requires concentration (for example, do a Sudoku, complete a crossword, try to recall the names of the kids in your fifth grade class). Studies show that even two minutes of distraction will reduce the urge to focus on the negative unhealthily.
5. Find meaning in loss.
Loss is a part of life, but it can scar us and keep us from moving forward if we don’t treat the emotional wounds it creates. If sufficient time has passed and you’re still struggling to move forward after a loss, you need to introduce a new way of thinking about it. Specifically, the most important thing you can do to ease your pain and recover is to find meaning in the loss and derive purpose from it. It might be hard, but think of what you might have gained from the loss (for instance, “I lost my spouse but I’ve become much closer to my kids”). Consider how you might gain or help others gain a new appreciation for life, or imagine the changes you could make that will help you live a life more aligned with your values and purpose.
6. Don’t let excessive guilt linger.
Guilt can be useful. In small doses, it alerts you to take action to mend a problem in your relationship with another person. But excessive guilt is toxic, in that it wastes your emotional and intellectual energies, distracts you from other tasks, and prevents you from enjoying life. One of the best ways to resolve lingering guilt is to offer an effective apology. Yes, you might have tried apologizing previously, but apologies are more complex than we tend to realize. The crucial ingredient that every effective apology requires — and most standard apologies lack — is an “empathy statement.” In other words, your apology should focus less on explaining why you did what you did and more on how your actions (or inactions) impacted the other person. It is much easier to forgive someone when you feel they truly understand. By apologizing (even if for a second time), the other person is much more likely to convey authentic forgiveness and help your guilt dissolve.
7. Learn what treatments for emotional wounds work for you.
Pay attention to yourself and learn how you, personally, deal with common emotional wounds. For instance, do you shrug them off, get really upset but recover quickly, get upset and recover slowly, squelch your feelings, or …? Use this analysis to help yourself understand which emotional first aid treatments work best for you in various situations (just as you would identify which of the many pain relievers on the shelves works best for you). The same goes for building emotional resilience. Try out various techniques and figure out which are easiest for you to implement and which tend to be most effective for you. But mostly, get into the habit of taking note of your psychological health on a regular basis — and especially after a stressful, difficult, or emotionally painful situation.
Yes, practicing emotional hygiene takes a little time and effort, but it will seriously elevate your entire quality of life.
11 Feb 2015 Comments Off
Agree? I do! it is a never-ending effort because, unlike managing physical tasks and activities, whatever goes inside your mind it’s the force that drives your life. It walks with you, goes to work with you and even goes to bed with you. Train the mind to see the positives in every outcome, the solutions rather than the problems. Train it using whatever necessary means to achieve whatever it is you want to be, do and have.
The mind can be your best friend or your worst enemy. It thrives when is constantly challenged with positive growth or withers without use or idleness. The results of its use mirrors out in every aspect of your life.
Managing your thoughts: choosing what to take in and what to discard, prioritizing short and long- term goals, dreams, and activities. Choosing to let go of the past, when to do it and how. What to take with you as lessons and experiences to the present and into the future. All this requires dedication, determination, and mental discipline.
Whatever it is, it first formulates inside the mind. Then engages the spirit through emotions and character. The body has no other choice but to follow the mind and
the results are happiness and contentment with the life you lead.
11 Feb 2015 Comments Off
Grit. Do you know what that means, grit? I’m not talking about grits, the breakfast side dish found in the south. I’m talking about that labored, dirty hands, sweaty, getting after it kind of feeling (insert your own picture idea here).
Grit. Personality trait
Grit in psychology is a positive, non‑cognitive trait based on an individual’s passion for a particular long‑term goal or endstate, coupled with a powerful motivation to achieve their respective objective – Wikipedia
There are three aspects of grit to look at.
1. Sustaining passion and endurance over time (years) is essentially the definition of grit.
2. People who are gritty have a cognitive mindset to focus on things that they can change. They are positive and optimistic.
3. Always remember that no great human achievement exists that doesn’t have thousands of hours of work behind it.
Do you have grit?
*From a LIFE Group article
11 Feb 2015 Comments Off
The Traveling Inspector
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11 Feb 2015 Comments Off
11 Feb 2015 Comments Off
A Year in Systema
a story by Carlos Guzman, instructor at Systema Orlando
My job requirements limited my teaching and training times. As an instructor under Vladimir Vasiliev, I wanted to make sure I kept up with my training and committed to visiting headquarters regularly. But the question was… how to do it? Well, I found a way. I started to take on work assignments nationwide. On each assignment, I checked whether a Systema school or seminar was within the area at that time. I made sure training was on my schedule, no matter how many hours I had to drive. It proved to be a life changing success. I took my Systema nationwide.
I was either at a seminar or visiting a Systema school almost every month of the year. It started in January visiting Vladimir at Toronto headquarters. Then back for a training week with Vladimir and Emmanuel Manolakakis in March where I took the family along for Spring break vacation. Bringing the family along and introducing my kids to Systema was one of the highlights of the year. I had the unique opportunity to participate in the Systema Camp in August, Martin Wheeler’s Master class in September and finally met Mikhail Ryabko in November. Big events that luckily for me, I was working nearby to attend. Throughout the years, I had the opportunity to train with other senior instructors: Max Franz, Systema twins Brendan and Adam Zettler, Frank Arias, Kwan Lee and Daniil Ryabko. Some, I had the pleasure to train with more than once in different events or classes. I had the honor to train with other instructors from other schools across the nation and worldwide. It was an amazing opportunity to visit the schools in Missouri, Kentucky, Maine, and Seattle and throughout Florida.
Every school I went to was open to anyone. There was no exclusivity, no membership required. I found that each school had their own variety of drills, their unique style that made the classes fun and informative. There was a significant correspondence with the class style seen in headquarters. Principles were well presented in every session. I’m sure Vladimir would be proud of his instructors.
Neither students nor instructors had inflated egos. Everyone I met made me feel welcome and open to share experiences. No one eyed me like an outsider ready to test my skills or to judge my Systema. Everyone was focused on doing their own Systema.
What I found truly valuable was practising with people I’ve never trained before. This added realistic approach to my training. I didn’t get comfortable knowing how my partner moved and striking inattentively like I unconsciously would with a familiar partner. The unpredictably added to the realism of the art. It moved me outside of my comfort zone to be more aware of my surroundings and feel my partner’s movement.
The rest of the time, when I am not training, I am living Systema. From the time I wake up, throughout the day and the time I go to bed, I consciously breathe, relax, keep good posture and move with purpose. Words of my instructors and feedback from other students come to mind like subconscious cues to correct my posture when I am standing, to check my breathing when I am going up the stairs at work, to maintain relaxation when I face stress and to move properly wherever I go.
The best of this whole experience is the people I meet along the way. I made new friends from all over the world at seminars and classes, staying connected online. When we see each other again, it feels like we’ve known each other for a long time.
Some people ask me, how I do it? My reply is “where there’s a will, there’s a way”. Otherwise, you’ll make excuses. I found that it was better to sign up for a seminar than to be concerned whether I can afford it or not. Signing up sealed my commitment to attend; the means to afford it and other details materialized as the day got closer. What’s more, I was able to bring the family along in some of my trips and that created the perfect harmony and balance that I was looking for.
I am grateful for this ongoing experience. It has lifted any limitations I had in all the quadrants of my life mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. It opened innumerable possibilities for the future.
There is something valuable when you go outside and experience the limitless possibilities with those living Systema.
Hope to train with you soon!
Carlos Guzman, Systema Orlando