Absolutely and Positively Yes, I AM Doing It!

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It’s never the right time or ideal  circumstances. Time doesn’t wait for you and your current circumstances are the platform to take on new opportunities  and build the life you always wanted.

Don’t make excuses or justify why you’re not doing this and that or procrastinate about it.  Neither play down the efforts of those who are being, doing and having the life they want. If you cannot join or lead them , then get out of their way.

Do something every day that will get you closer to your dreams.
Write down a goal and start working on it. The details will work out for themselves. You just need to get started and right now it’s the best time.

It won’t be easy, you know that; it may be challenging, of course it will be. Anything unknown creates uncertainty and even fear. However, it doesn’t have to be.
Embrace challenges; accept them as they are and turn them into oppotunities if you just step of of your comfort  zone and take the first step.

It will be challenging but I tell you, it will be totally worth it.  A year from today, you’ll look back only to see how far you’ve gone.

So go on, get started!

Self-Sabotage: when my mental monkeys are on the loose

The boy cried: “ why are you doing this to me? I am a good boy…I don’t like when you treat me like this. —silence— I do what I got to do, I respect and do good to others, so why can’t I get what I want? —silence—  You know this is not what I want. It is not fair, what am I supposed to do? —silence— I’m so mad at you! —silence—  ( red face, fist clenched) Give me what I want…I want it and I want it now!”

That  boy was me this morning, in a full-blown pity party. I was driving to work and I felt so frustrated with myself because I was not getting exactly what I want at this point in my life. I have set my goals, planned accordingly and work hard to make it happen.  I felt that I was going in the right direction, so why things are not going my way? This morning that drive and sense of direction I thought I had were put in question.  In other words, my faith was in question. I felt lost without guidance, like a GPS without a signal, (gasp!) useless.  I got tired of asking questions seeking for an answer or something remotely close to it that will let me know that I am on the right path in my life. Despite of working hard to get more business, work is lacking and no steady income coming in. I felt like I was wondering around aimlessly like a sailboat with a broken mast, again…useless. Then it got worse, the mental monkeys were out and running loose. I was enraged about why this and that were not happening, justifying how hard I have worked for this and rationalized different theories of why it isn’t happening.  I had an internal rage with myself , with God and the Universe.  I cried and protested like a little boy demanding what I want it so bad and what I felt it was so righteously mine.  

After several periods of silence and feeling that my mental monkeys were tired of ranting the same injustices over and over, I was feeling numb. I was ashamed by my actions and my sense of despair.  I started to breathe slowly and used tapping techniques to release my tension. I also practiced  the Ho’oponopono technique  to cleanse myself of all the negativity I have created in such a short time.  The long drive did me great service this morning.

I got to the work site and feeling better about myself, I started my work day without giving it another thought. Hours later I got a call for an immediate job, as I knew it will happen. Needless to say, I was happy.  But despite of knowing that a solution always come at the 11th hour, why I did this to myself? What I did this morning was giving into hopelessness and questioning my faith because thing are not happening exactly the way I want to. When this happens the mind self-sabotage itself fueled by the negative thoughts I help create.  Why I do this? There is a lesson between the lesson as my Systema instructor will say. I recognize faults in my character that need more attention.  As a human being, I have my strengths as well as my weaknesses. Instead of holding on to my faith, trusting that everything will turn out well in due time as it has been proven to me many times before,  I tend to judge from the current facts (and the lack of) and give into self-doubt. When I dwell on uncertainty for too long it is easier for the negativity and the mental monkeys to conquer over.

A Check Up from the Neck Up: Counseling

I always thought that I could face my problems alone; name what’s wrong and work out a plan towards a winning solution. That is the way I am used to deal with problems. I am a self-proclaimed problem solver.  However when external circumstances clashed with my internal self my world, as I knew it, came crumbling down. No matter how much I tried to anticipate and prevent problems to happen by doing what I thought was right based on my experiences, they presented themselves unexpectedly and with no reservations. One after another, my troubles kept adding up. I lost several business contracts due to the troubled economy so my finances took a turn for the worse over time and even my marriage was starting to struggle. Despite my positive attitude towards life and being pro-active to whatever life throws at me, I was taken completely off guard. I must confess that even though I knew times were hard as they are now, I’ve never saw it coming, not so bad like this.   I felt frustrated and helpless to the point of hopelessness.  I went out seeking the help of others. I talked with family members and friends. They gave me a fresh perspective based on their own experiences and points of view. Yet, things were not getting better and I, overwhelmed with everything happening all at once was starting to feel depressed.

One night though I came to realize that  It was time for me to accept that I cannot deal with my problems alone and have to ask for professional help.  I have done counseling in the past but my intentions were not so clear like they are now.  I knew that if I want things to get better and consistent with my thinking and the things that I want in my life, I need to do a different kind of “check up from the neck up” for good.  I needed to find a person, one that can help find underlying issues that I don’t see or acknowledge myself.  A trained therapist that can help me to face my fears, express my feelings better, ease my anxiety and depression. One that can  give me the tools to deal with my emotions, my behavior and my thinking more effectively so I can achieve my goals and create the life that I want. More important is getting the help I need to improve the relationship with my wife. I didn’t have any trouble finding  my counselor and started therapy right away without missing a beat. I am so glad that I did and I am so coming back for more.

When things don’t do the way you want or expect in your life and don’t know why or how to deal with it, it’s o.k. to ask for help and there is no need to feel ashamed. Not asking for help and pretend that life will change for you…now that’s a shame.

Maintaining Relationship Bridges

My job as an inspector gives me the insight of building structures and how the elements affect its integrity and function. When I look at a building foundation, I can see if it has been affected by erosion, moisture, whether it has cracks or deterioration that can have an impact on the structure, creating potential adverse effects to the integrity of the building. Foundations support the weight of the building or structure and it is important that it is properly constructed and maintained to prevent premature failure and a potential collapse of the building or structure. Bridges and building foundations run deep into the ground; the higher the building or bridge the deeper that foundation has to be. Poor construction or lack of maintenance can result in premature structural failure, exposing the footings, cracks and gaps that over time contribute to the overall deterioration of the structure. A bridge whose footing is unstable due to an undermined foundation will surely fail over time, giving in to the weight of the top of the structure and eventually collapsing. No matter how fancy the bridge or building looks on the outside, if its foundation is not well grounded, it will be at the mercy of time and the elements to do their work.

Relationships are much like bridges and structures. A relationship between two people who care for each other, they communicate effectively and work together towards a common goal are like a strong foundation that runs deep into the ground. They are more adapting to withstand the elements and remain stable for years to come. However, relationships that are not well maintained, neglected with little or no effort from both sides, are like a weak foundation, unable to withstand the elements and threatening to collapse. Lack of communication, poor effort, lack of gratitude and dedication undermines the relationship foundation and surely over time will crumble to the ground. The bridge whose side is more unstable will be the first to collapse. In a relationship, both sides have to maintain the relationship to good standing, otherwise, the deferred side will deteriorate and that side of the bridge will collapse first. The other side, despite of been properly maintain, cannot hold the weight of the entire structure and though it remains standing it is rendered impassable because it missing the other half of the bridge. Relationship cannot be one sided. Both sides have to bear the weight of the relationship equally or balanced in a manner that is beneficial to both ends. Maintaining solid relationships will ensure that the friendship bridges will remain up and open and never burn or destroyed.

The Magnificent 5

As part of my commitment to success, personal growth and do great things in life, I wanted to set up a support group to keep myself accountable for my actions, to ask for help or advice, suggestions and to share my journey with other people. To think of making this effort was more difficult than actually doing it because at first I was not sure I could find people who will support my goals. I was immediately proved wrong once I let go of the stupid thought and started to look around me. I have a good friend who is doing this, updating his inner circle of friends with progress on his dreams and ambitions. I am honored to be in his inner circle and I have seen great leaps forward, achieving whatever he put his mind into. I admire him and after valuing the benefit of having a support group, I decided to create mine.

Prospecting for people to support my goals was easier than anything else I expected.  I want to select a few friends whose attitudes are in alignment with mine. I want positive, engaging people, who have goals of their own and have the right mental attitude to move things forward. I want drivers not back seat passengers; someone who can help me in how to make it happen not telling me why it cannot happen.  I wanted people who can give me their opinion without sugar-coating it, someone who can motivate me when I need a shoulder to lean on, and someone who can say more than simple words. After careful consideration, I found those people and they were right around me. I call them, the Magnificent 5.

These are friends that I admire, they inspire me and I value their opinion. More importantly, I believe in them! They are my Magnificent 5, my success support group and with my commitment and their support, success is inevitable.

It’s not enough to aim, you must hit

It is an Italian proverb that I see every day when I get on my truck and go to work.  It is one of few key personal quotes I have selected over the years and placed on the back of the windshield,  at the visor level, just for me to  see.  These are significant to me; words that truly motivates , inspire, and moves me forward. It reminds me that the things I think and dream about being, doing and having and want so much in my life will not matter at all if  don’t get on and start doing them. I can aim for a better future, financial independence, be great at this, do and have that, but if I don’t follow through, organize my goals, set a plan to carry them out and  do them, I will end up with nothing but wishful thinking and frustration. It is all beautiful and so right inside my mind; I can see myself achieving everything that I have thought about, realizing my dreams, making reality of what I deeply want and so righteously deserve. However, sometime ago, it was all just that wishful thinking. I would dream about becoming a better person , doing and having the things I like, but none of that happened and I became frustrated with my life. It was until I decided to do something to realize my goals,  set in motion my plans, organizing and taking action that I started to attract what I was looking for.

Even just doing something  was not enough. I would lose my momentum at some point because of  external circumstances, lost sight of what I was taking aim and  discarded  the idea or replaced the goal by something more urgent, more real and easy.  I needed a constant reminder to follow through, to carry on with the plan.  Looking for help online, I found many resources for goal setting, achieving dreams and much more. I subscribed to daily quote reminders and been receiving daily motivating and empowering messages for years. These help me to stay focused on my targets.  So I am thankful for  appreciating the meaning of this proverb because to me sets the intention, to  continue to improve and move forward doing everything possible to hit what I am aiming for.

What I need to commit to become financially independent

I Think Big

Become an expert in a field: write about it,post it,share it

Create my strategy- “think and grow rich attitude”:
Create specific goals and time frame,
Write it down and state a powerful reason to do it
Write an action plan. Stick to it everyday

Take action: level of success is equal skills time action. I do “Whatever it takes” Go and don’t stop until I get what I want.

Build leadership abilities: my positive attitude must be superior to those who I lead, instill confidence, act with integrity, be persistent and determined, investing in personal growth.

My vision is how I see myself. How do I change my vision to change my results? There are three things I subconsciously think about:

What people thinks about me?
Results I have experience in life
What I say and think about myself

The sub-conscious mind does not know the difference between true and lies. It just goes to make the picture I make of myself. If I don’t like it I can change it.

Responsibility: When I blame others I become a powerless victim. I am completely responsible for my actions, my words and my thinking. I chose to make the most of it and take full accountability for it.

Avoiding negative words: what and how I say it. I Use my words and thinking with a positive attitude

Keep faith in the higher Power, to me God.

Repetition is the mother of skills. Read, listen to positive, enriching motivational material that will get me closer and closer to my goals and become a better person.