I could say that 2011 was a foul year and in part it is the ugly truth but not so entirely. Yes, my business has suffered huge losses and many of my goals that I had projected for each quarter were delay to a grinding stop. However there has been things happening, certain circumstances and events that have changed this year’s gloomy outlook. Despite of living in a world of uncertainties, fear and challenges, I have a much clear perspective of how things are developing for me. See, God has a master plan for me. The problem is that I don’t know what it is and that sole fact frustrates me deeply. Throughout the year, I have gone up and down like a twisting roller coaster, trying to “figure out” what is God’s plan for me. I have traveled great distances in silence, listening to self-help audiobooks and reflecting on what I can do to change my current life to the life I really dream about. I asked God to show his plans to me. I wasn’t expecting an ominous revelation of God’s plans to me; I didn’t expect him to come down in a cloud and speak directly to me. Though that would have been nice to see it happen, what I really wanted was to “know” where was I going and what to do with my life forward. I was looking for a sign, a feeling that will lead me towards my dreams. I got really frustrated when I got no answer, no signs, no revelation of what to do, where to go and how to do whatever I’m supposed to do. Again, It was all left out to me to figure it out and that angered me. It got even worse when my life turned upside down with financial problems, a slow business and money was getting scarce. I focused on my problems and that is exactly what I got, more problems.
As things were getting worse, I always turned to God for answers. Again, He did not speak to me directly but something else was happening. When things were going from bad to worse, when I was at the end of my rope or so I thought, a solution will show itself and saved the day. I don’t know when or how it happened but started to trust blindly that it will happen again. I was not disappointed. Naturally, I wanted more and more but that was not the way God has it for me. I long ago concluded that everything happens for a reason and God will show His will to me in due time. He wanted me to do something though, to let go of the controls and let Him take over. Though I resisted in the beginning and still do sometimes, letting go of what I can’t control has allowed me to see where I am going and what to do with my life. The revelation was short of spectacular: be grateful for everything I have and enjoy life now with the people who I love.
With this new perspective in my life, I can’t wait to receive 2012.