Clearly not right

On my way back from daughter’s school I observed a State Trooper vehicle cruising next to me. The driver was a young cop, probably between 20 something and 30 something. The sun was shining on his face, so I could not say for sure though I could see his sunglasses. I also saw another thing, his perceived attitude. He had a stern face, locked jaw and I wish I could have seen his eyes. I thought, Man, what on earth can be happening to this man so early in the morning? Why so serious? I perceived him as being one of those cops out there; well you know what I am talking about. Tough looking, robo- talk cop with an attitude of cockiness, walking like carrying 2 x 4 on his shoulders. The kind of person who perhaps wants to prove himself or to someone, the kind of person who perhaps joined the academy to change his self-image, to gain respect from others and authority over others by wearing a badge and barking law talk. That is my perception, my opinion at that time of what I saw and perceived through my own discrimination. I notice that as I recounted past experiences with people like this, my emotional state reacted in a negative way. I started to get angry as I remember the “injustices” I have gone through with the law. My face in a frown, my thoughts negative and I even swore. To add insult to my face, he pulled right in front of me changing lanes without using his turn signals and certainly more than the posted speed limit. This did nothing but validate my own prejudices. I said “ oh so can speed above the limit and cruise over lanes because you are the law?” For the benefit of doubt, a slim thought of being on official business ran through my mind. It was dismissed immediately since I didn’t see his vehicle flashing lights. What a double standard, I said! We couldn’t get away for a traffic violation like he just did, but he can because he is the law? In reality is a “do as I say and not as I do” policy, clearly not right. What was not right also was my mind set at that precise time. I let these thoughts control my emotions changing my mood based on my own prejudice and experiences. I needed to get clear. I realized that I slipped back into destructive thinking and that will take me nowhere I want to be. I needed to let go.