I use a method of thinking that I call Thought Clearing Process to help me stay honest about myself and address the things I want to bring into my life or eliminate from it. I am not sure if it is really named like this, but I find it very proper since everything that comes before an action is a thought. My thoughts can be confusing sometimes, disguised as problems, insecurities, bad habits, moral beliefs and whole lot of preconceptions. In order to truly put the thought, belief or habit into clear perspective, I first have to be very clear in what I really want, that is the end result. Over the years I have come up with some principles, my beliefs, what I accept as a good guide to help me evaluate the current situation and answer my questions with honesty. These are my principles for the Thought Clearing Process:
- I am responsible for my actions and in control of what I think, say or do. I may not be at fault or whatever said or done was not all fair, but I am the sole owner and creator of what I say, what I do to myself and/or to others and specially what I think particularly about myself.~ I am accountable~
- I cannot change others, but I can change the way I think and react about other people. I cannot force someone to change their ways, but I can change my reaction to their behavior to produce a better outcome.~ I am resilient~
- 3. I have to be true with myself. I ultimately will be fooling myself not others if not acting with self- integrity.~ I act with integrity~
- I acknowledge that there are no bad experiences if there is a lesson to be taught and I learn from my mistakes. Thinking of problems and consequences is negative. I make the most of the outcome. ~ I learn from my experiences~
- 5. That I understand that my experiences are my own and I must not criticize or impose my will onto other people’s experiences. Even though I may have gone through similar experiences myself, the outcome may be different to others based on their unique circumstances and does not mean that it will run the same fate. This applies both ways. ~ I refrain passing judgment onto others~
To put it in short statements or affirmations:
- I am accountable
- I am resilient
- I act with integrity
- I learn from my experiences
- I refrain passing judgment onto others…………………………………….Or
- Thou shall be accountable
- Thou shall be resilient
- Thou shall act with integrity
- Thou shall learn from own experiences
- Thou shall not pass judgment onto others
Once I am clear on these above, I move on to my clearing process:
Goal: I want to _________________ ( Be, Do, Have) For example: be happy, a good parent, lose weight, quit smoking, have more money, etc…Thought, belief or habit this is where I state my objective.
Questions to ask:
- 1. How well am I doing as of this very moment (Good, Bad, So so). It makes me_________? ( happy, sad, angry, shameful, desperate, etc)
- Is whatever I am doing right now working for me? yes/no
- Does it make me happy? Yes/no
- 4. Does it make the people I love and care happy as well? Yes/no ( this part is very important)
- 5. What do I really think could be the problem? Be honest…
- 6. What do I think could be a solution or improvement? ( be accountable)
- 7. What can I do to fix it or make it better? (think of personal and other’s experiences)
- 8. How others can help me? ( be resilient without being judgmental)
- What is my immediate plan of action?
- How would I feel when I accomplish __________________
These questions can be used to challenge or put into perspective just about anything I think of, any belief I stand for and or any bad habits I want to eliminate for good. I go over each question without rushing into it, answering with true honesty. One question may lead to other deeper questions but I try not to deviate from my target which is to answer these questions. I keep it simple and the results must match or go in line with my intended goal. For example if I wanted to read and interesting book and I answered if it whatever I am doing is working with a yes, does it makes me happy with a yes, but it does not make the people I love and care about happy, I know I may have something to work on. Perhaps I have to change something in the process, maybe the time of reading so not to interfere with the family quality time or maybe I can find a suitable subject to enjoy and read with the family.
Happiness is what everyone wants and looks for in life. Whatever it may be, people want to experience pleasure with all the positives that brings in their lives and avoid pain and its negatives. This Thought Clearing Process can help in achieving happiness by identifying and then eliminating the negatives that prevents one from being happy.